Dear Neil:  Thanks for your recent column on anger.  What’s been fascinating for me is to realize how ill-equipped I am to having any reaction other than anger or feeling like a doormat.  Learning to rein in anger is freeing, but if people who have relied on anger for power don’t have any other readily available choices...

If you were to give yourself a grade for how effective, how responsive and how loving you behave in your relationship, what would that grade be?

Better yet, break the above question down into smaller segments.  On an A B C D F scale, using (+) or (– ) to more fully adjust your grade, what grade in your relationship would you give...