ROSENTHAL,Taking Depression Out

Wk Dec 22, 2002 WC: 641

TAKING DEPRESSION OUT OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON

NOTE: THIS IS THE SECOND OF A TWO-PART SERIES

Some people find that holiday depression feeds on itself. In the

beginning, they are unhappy for a specific reason. Then they are

upset at themselves for being unhappy at Christmas. And they may also

resent the real or imagined pressure from those around them to be in

a better mood. All of this can turn a mild case of the blues into a

black mood.

If you have the holiday blues this Christmas seasons here are some

things you can do:

* Vow to eliminate some the hecticness from your holiday

holiday. Pare down the activities, preparations, shopping,

parties, cards, cooking, baking, cleaning, decorating,

wrapping, entertaining and accommodating to friends and

family you usually do.

* Seek out people who make you feel better, and avoid

people who contribute to your depression.

* Be more physically active. Physical activity is one of

the best antidotes to depression.

* Think back to your childhood Christmas. Which

traditions, activities or occasions were particularly

pleasurable for you? Are any of those memories reflected

in your current celebration?

* What do you have to look forward to after

Christmas?

* From everything you know about yourself and Christmas,

what changes would you like to make in the coming

celebration?

* Don’t invite people who have a history of drinking too much to

Christmas festivities, and tell them why. Problem drinkers are not fragile. Straight honest talk about what you expect may also work.

* Pay attention to what you like, love, respect love and

appreciate about yourself.

You might also try the following exercise. Choose a quiet location where you won't be interrupted, close your eyes and imagine Christmas two years from now. Imagine any kind of Christmas you wish as long as it is deeply satisfying.

You can magically include your favorite friends and relatives, and

make them behave any way you wish. You can celebrate in any

setting. You don't have to keep a single traditional Christmas

activity, or you can keep them all. This will be Christmas the way

you have always wanted it to be. If you find yourself with

multiple fantasies, keep returning to the ideas that make you feel

most satisfied.

Once you have settled on a particular fantasy, stick with it until

you have enriched it with a lot of details. Imagine the physical

setting, the activities, how you are feeling and how other people

are feeling. What kind of food is there? How was it made? Are

there any gifts? What are they like?

Then write your fantasy down on a separate sheet of paper, and

answer the following questions: 1) Of all the ways your fantasy

was different from your usual Christmas, which difference was most

satisfying to you? 2) Which parts of your fantasy would be most

feasible for you to actually do for Christmas?

The first step in making your Christmas a better experience is to

figure out what you want different. For most people, the real

problem is that they haven't taken the time to define for

themselves what's most important to them about Christmas, and what

changes they might make that would add to the celebration.

Despite what you may think, most people are no more or less happy

at Christmas than they are at any other time of the year.

“He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence.”

William Blake

Source: “Unplug The Christmas Machine” by Joe Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli (William Marrow).

Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Boulder and Denver. His syndicated column appears in various newspapers in the U.S. and around the world. Call him at (303) 758-8777, e-mail him at www.heartrelationships.com or write him care of this paper.