Rosenthal, Telltale Signs Mate Cheating

Wk of Jan12, 2003 WC: 600

TELLTALE SIGNS YOUR MATE IS CHEATING ON YOU

Some months ago I printed in this space a list of ways to tell if your mate is being unfaithful to you. Here are some additional telltale signs of possible infidelity not covered in my previous column:

Ø Your mate often comes home late, is frequently having vehicle troubles or has frequent unexplained absences.

Ø Your mate turns off his cell phone or pager—or doesn’t answer it—whenever you are around.

Ø You receive hang-up telephone calls on a regular basis, or an unusually large number of calls that are wrong numbers.

Ø Your mate won’t listen to his/her telephone messages when you can also hear them, and if you live separately, your mate’s telephone is off limits for you to answer.

Ø When talking on the telephone, your mate walks away from you, leaves the room, whispers, gives short yes-or-no type answers or abruptly changes the topic of conversation when you enter the room.

Ø Your mate has occasional special nights out when she is not to be bothered at all.

Ø Your mate doesn’t take you to public functions or social events and avoids having you meet her new friends.

Ø Your mate makes excuses about why his wedding ring is not being worn.

Ø Your mate claims to spend a good deal of time at the local mall but seldom buys anything.

Ø Your mate is working at the computer, and when you walk into the room, s/he quickly exits whatever program is running, turns the monitor screen down, turns off the monitor or clears the screen so you can’t see what was there.

Ø Your mate convinces you that taking separate vacations is a good thing for you both.

Ø Your mate frequently tells white lies.

Ø Your mate accuses you of cheating, but has no real cause to suspect you.

Ø Your mate would rather spend time with friends than be with you, shows no interest in your relationship’s future, or stops being affectionate.

Ø Your mate has been acting emotionally distant and withdrawn but when you ask about it, he doesn’t want to discuss it and becomes very protective of his privacy.

Ø Your mate’s car passenger seat is frequently moved to a different position when you get in.

Ø Your mate’s car, bedroom, bathroom or hairbrush contains unfamiliar hairs.

Ø Your mate carries a change of clothes or grooming products in her car, or brings them along when going for with an evening of socializing with friends.

Ø Your mate’s clothing or vehicle frequently has the aroma of an unfamiliar smell such as perfume, aftershave, cigarettes or cigars.

Ø Your mate’s long-distance or calling card charges increase dramatically.

Ø Your mate comes home to you and is not wearing the same clothes s/he had on when leaving the house, or you notice certain pieces of clothing missing, such as underwear, nylons or socks.

Ø Your mate comes home and takes a shower or bath right away, which is something s/he never did before.

Ø Your mate keeps condoms in his/her wallet or purse, even though the two of you don’t use condoms.

Ø You discover unexplained receipts for hotels, motels, clothing, jewelry or meals.

Ø Your mate refuses to allow you to see the monthly cell phone or credit card statements.

Source: “Cheaters” by Raymond Green (New Horizon Press).

Neil Rosenthal will be conducting a workshop titled “To Love And To Be Loved” on February 1 in Boulder. For information, call (303) 758-8777.