This is a preview. The full article appears in Neil's book: Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Keeping the Flame Alive

With couples who enter marriage therapy complaining of communication problems, I sometimes offer them communication skill-building exercises as a way for them to talk more openly with each other.  One such exercise follows, courtesy of Jennifer Louden in The Couples Comfort Book (HarperCollins, San Francisco):

  • When I think of nurturing the relationship, I think of…
  • When I think of intimacy, I think of …
  • When I think of tenderness, I think of …
  • When I think of commitment, I think of …
  • When I think of sacrifice, I think of …
  • I feel loved and nurtured when you …
  • You could help me talk about my feelings more by …

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