Do You Have a Hard Time Trusting People?

Note:  This is the first of a two-part series.

Answer true (T) or false (F) to the following statements:

   1. I believe most people can be trusted. ___
   2. I find it easy to trust those close to me. ___
   3. The people I have loved the most have been trustworthy. ___
   4. The people closest to me throughout my life have been sensitive to my needs.___
   5. I was raised with very responsible people. ___
   6. I have several models of happy love relationships in my family. ___
   7. Growing up, I could trust the adults in my family to tell the truth. ___
   8. Communication was very clear in our family. ___
   9. As a child, I was given good information about life. ___
  10. Telling the truth was an important value in my family. ___
  11. I could always trust my mother to care for me. ___
  12. I could always trust my father to care for me. ___
  13. I felt important growing up. ___
  14. My earliest romantic relationships were fulfilling. ___
  15. I felt attractive growing up. ___
  16. I received very good sex education as a child and adolescent. ___
  17. I came into adulthood very well prepared for relationships.___
  18. I felt special as a child.___
  19. My parents were devoted to one another. ___
  20. I have always been trustworthy.___

 Now circle the answer that completes the sentence most accurately.  Circle more than one if they fit.  If none apply, complete the sentence on your own:

  21. My biggest difficulty with trust has been (a.)not trusting enough; b.) trusting people who are not trustworthy; c.) expecting people to be perfect d.) not trusting myself.
  22. In terms of jealousy, I am (a.) rarely jealous; b.) am prone to jealousy; c.) have a jealous partner d.) like it when my partner is jealous.
  23. My personal history with trust includes (a.) being untrustworthy; b.) breaking confidences; c.) being very trustworthy d.)learning to be more trustworthy.
  24. I am least trustworthy with (a.) private information; b.) money; c.) keeping appointments d.) sexual fidelity.
  25. My greatest fears around trust have to do with (a.)sex; b.) money; c.) friends d.) family.
  26. Most of my love relationships have been (a.) trustworthy; b.) fulfilling; c.) disappointing d.) painful.
  27. In relationship, I am usually the one who (a.) wins the arguments; b.) gets his/her way; c.) apologizes d.) gives in.
  28. My worst fear in a relationship is (a.) getting hurt; b.) hurting the other person; c.) getting too close d.) losing interest.
  29.  In a relationship, I practice (a.) total honesty and truth; b.) selective honesty; c.) the right to privacy d.) prying into my partner’s privacy.
  30. Overall my ability to trust is (a.) healthy and balanced; b.) comfortable for me; c.) still developing d.) insecure.

Going back over your answers, how would you evaluate you history with trust?  Can you see any reflection of your history in your current relationship or recent relationships?  There are no right or wrong answers to the above questions.  They are designed to help you look at the past and present issues you have regarding trust.

This quiz was taken from Pat Love’s  book The Truth About Love (Fireside).  I will continue this discussion and offer recommendations about trust in next week’s column.